Venus Williams, Hairstyle Icon

I've been a fan of the Williams Sisters since I was 13. Their story is inspiring for many different reasons. From Compton to Wimbledon, these ladies have seen and done it all!

Something i’ve always, always loved are their colorful outfits and hairstyles on court. I like things that are a different, only when done tastefully without overstepping the mark.

For instance: the blue/green braids Venus has tied up in Princess Leia buns at the Miami Open is honestly so iconic, I can’t stop thinking about it.

Venus looks like a Pokémon Master that you have to beat on Nintendo to proceed to the next level and I, for one, am obsessed:

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The Still-Face Experiment

I watched a fascinating YouTube video a couple days ago that made me want to Tweet about how ready I am to be a father. It was about 1 year old babies and their ability to recognize several basic blocks of social interaction. It’s fascinating to see that every single social interaction we have from the moment we are born affects us for the rest of our lives.

Seeing babies and toddlers interact with humans, often speaks volumes about the households they’re growing up in. They have this saying in Hindu culture when I visited New Delhi in 2010: “children are a reflection of their parents.”

This video I’m about to share almost made me cry. I think back and am transported to being a 10 year old and remembering the day my little sister first smiled at us from the pushchair. We were jiggling the pram on Mission Bay beach and out came the most radiant and beaming smile, gums and all! Me and my older sister were booing and cooing at her, smiling, as if we were trying to coax the positive energy out of her. No teeth of course because she was only a few months old. Then out of her body came a noise that can only be described as a joyful scream. I remembered very specifically my older sister gasping: “Oh my God, she’s smiling! Look, Mum! She’s laughing too!” Our little baby Hinemoa was mirroring all our facial expressions back to us.

I used to love sitting in the backseat of our retro 1997 Land Rover Discovery and make all kinds of funny faces at my baby sister. If there was anything I was going to teach her it was: how to be funny, make silly faces, and not to take life too seriously! I played the role of goofy older brother perfectly! Hinemoa would grab my face, almost trying to comprehend and understand if my face was real or not. She’d never seen anybody go cross-eyed before. Then after holding my funny face for 10 seconds, she’d touch my cheek and animatedly change and make a different funny face, usually with a honking nasal noise to match, often to her squealing delight. And bip-boppity-boop, she’s been laughing at my jokes ever since!

It made me realize that although my Mum had to take care of two little rascals running around at 18 months apart (me and my older sister), Mum always engaged with us babies from a very young age. This was her way of showing us that we were loved. Mum still does this with all my cousin’s babies by the way.

Every time a cousin of mine had a baby - and trust me, there are tons of babies in my extended family because I have 60+ first cousins alone - Mum would always talk to their children as if they were already able to communicate. Now I’m realizing after watching this video, the babies that mirrored back her smiles and her interactions were from families where the child was already being socially engaged. Others, and there were some, stared at her blankly, almost confused as to why this white lady was trying to talk to them! Perhaps it was just their personality, but after watching this video I’m realizing that maybe it’s not.

I suppose I’m getting emotional because I’m feeling extreme gratitude for the household I grew up in and for the Mum that I had. I called her just now to tell her that I love her. She was such a lovely mother. Even when we acted out, she never walked away and ignored us. Us 3 children were never withheld love, and you can see it in our sunny disposition to this very day: me and my sisters are abundant with our love and we never withdraw, we just love harder!

I get equally emotional and sad for babies that don’t get the same socialization from a young age. The ones that perhaps don’t get any attention unless it’s negative. According to Bridgett Miller (teacher, parenting consultant, and remedial therapist) there’s a lot going on emotionally for children who repeatedly act out to get a reaction from their parents:

“Any time a young child ups their performance and becomes louder, more dramatic, or repeatedly pushes the limits, they need more attention—not less. This may sound contrary to what you’ve been led to believe, but withholding attention from a child who is acting out to get it will never resolve what’s driving them to act out. When we ignore, shame, or punish a child who is “just looking for attention,” we might succeed in temporarily shutting down their acting out, but we miss out on giving them what they truly need from us: a deeper heartfelt connection.

For a young child who is desperate for a parent’s attention, even negative attention is better than not getting any attention at all. It’s a poor substitute for the warm connection they were trying to attract, but they’ll settle for what they can get. Parents need to know that the young child isn’t going to be the one to break the cycle of acting out in order to get attention, it has to be the parent. We have to be the ones who let go of trying to justify how much time and attention we’re already giving them, and thinking that it should be enough. Only the child knows how much is enough for them. If we’re seeing their behavior escalate, we have to approach their exasperating behavior as an immature plea for more connection, not less, because that’s what it is.

Whenever your child appears to be doing something for attention, it’s because attention is exactly what they need. When you push back or try and ignore their efforts to get your attention, you’re wasting an opportunity to give them the connection they are seeking. By giving them loving attention, you’re not giving in or letting them have their way—you’re conveying that you see them, you hear them, and they matter to you. This provides the necessary context to convey that no matter what their behavior, your connection to them remains strong. Tell yourself this parenting affirmation: “I choose to see my child’s attention-seeking behavior as a plea for more connection.” Use this takeaway to re-frame the way you’re interpreting their behavior.”

This, I’m assuming, and I’m no child psychologist, is the way antagonistic personalities are born with the thought process being: I’m going to get the attention I’m wanting and desiring, regardless of whether it is a positive or negative outcome, I will get the attention nonetheless. Repetition of this behavior with negative outcomes, as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramini Durvasula puts it, shapes a child’s psychological constitution.

I’m grateful to have grown up in a household with positive reinforcement and encouraging affirmation. There was no love placed on restricted access to any of us, the love was always abundant, even when we were acting out! Long story long: children need attention, affection, affirmation, warmth, and above all, abundant signs of engaging love. Withdrawing any of the qualities mentioned in the last sentence stunts emotional growth and only creates emotional complexities in their future.

I know the type of father I’m going to be to my babies. One that is full of attentive love and positive reinforcement, I’ll never be withholding love, ever. I’m going to talk to them babies as if they’re already understanding me because chances are, they already do! Watch the video and see for yourself:

Sleeping Well At Night

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There are 3 universal truths about this life: we are born alone, we die alone, and we sleep alone. Sure, there are some exceptions but for the most part this is all true.

Sleep is interesting to me because it functions as a sort of in-between state of death and birth. When we close our eyes and lay still, we descend into deep sleep, REM (rapid eye movement) cycles, and our bodies recover from whatever physical exertion and emotional grievances we’ve had that day.

Then just like that, we wake up and it feels like we are reborn into a new life with a new body and everything is revitalized. Nothing is more necessary to our bodies than a good night’s sleep. Waking up after a solid night of rest is totally rejuvenating.

Some people have difficulty falling asleep and it can be for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes it is stress related; worry will keep anybody up at night. Other times it is chemically related. It is a known fact that when people quit drinking they have intense sleep problems that can last for many, many months. This is because the latency period of the onset of sleep is much shorter after drinking alcohol; meaning, people who drink before bed fall asleep much faster; however, the body spends more time in deep sleep and this disrupts REM cycles.

REM cycles are important because they’re the moments in our sleep that help us dream. I was told by a doctor once that alcohol can disrupt not 1, but 2 REM cycles. This means that after a night of heavy drinking, it’ll take not 1, but 2 night’s sleep before you finally experience dreams again. Sleeping is one thing, but dreaming is quite another. Everything recovers during sleep, including our subconscious mind, all achieved through the art of dreaming. Dreams can reveal so much about all of our inherent wants, needs, desires, all of which are buried deep inside our subconscious mind.

Long story short, if you want to have stable sleep patterns, which will eventually lead to stable living patterns, you can read more about how to achieve that here.

Sleeping well at night, to me, is a spiritual thing. If I sleep well at night then I know that all is well in my world and that everything within my own spirit is settled. Every night I ask myself: am I contributing good things to this world? Should we continue down this current path, or steer myself in a different direction? These are imperative questions we should ask ourselves every night before bed.

I don’t shy away from this reflection because I know that deep down I am a good person, whom is only trying their best everyday to do right by others. I do my best to live and uplift people because that’s the type of person I am. Toxic positivity? Perhaps. But life is much easier to move through as an eternal optimist and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Happiness is contagious. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I do try my best to outwardly project goodness into this world.

I cherish the moment of laying in bed before drifting off to sleep, thinking and reflecting on the day I’ve had and all the things I’m blessed to have in my life. I think about all the things I’m grateful for. I think about my family and friends, and I ask the Universe to protect them. I express gratitude for the job I get to do that brings me so much joy, and about how it doesn’t even feel like a job when I’m doing it. And finally, I practice astral projection when thinking about all the things I’m hoping to achieve in this life: all my wants, desires, hopes and dreams.

This moment of introspection before bed ensures that I’m in a good place, and when I feel in a good place, I fall quickly off to sleep without problems.

To me, I think self-reflection before bed is difficult for some people. Sometimes sitting with one’s conscience is difficult, especially if you aren’t happy within your heart and your soul. This doesn’t mean that all people with sleep disturbances are bad people, but I do think there are layers of truth behind the loaded question: “Do you sleep well at night?” Meaning, do you feel good enough within yourself to sleep well at night?

To me personally, a good heart, well-nourished soul, and wholesome spirit will always sleep well at night. I think there is no better remedy for insomnia other than a good conscience.

Beyoncé sums it all up perfectly in the closing lyrics of her song “Pretty Hurts”:

When you're alone all by yourself,
When you're lying in your bed,
Reflection stares right into you,
Are you happy with yourself?

Stripped away the masquerade,
The illusion has been shed,
Are you happy with yourself?
Are you happy with yourself?

We are all birthed into this world alone, we all leave this physical plane alone, and we all sleep alone. So, the next time you’re having difficulty sleeping, think of me, B, and the esoteric question: are you happy with yourself?

I Really Like Russell Brand

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Every year my Mum gets each one of her children a book for Christmas, and the last time I was home for she bought me Russell Brand’s book “Revolution.” It was actually a really good book. I highly recommend it.

I never thought much of him as a person until I saw him participating at the Occupy Wall Street protests in September 2011. I thought that was very brave of him. I kind of fell in love with him when he gave a fabulous speech at the 2013 GQ Awards, which they obviously tried to scrub from the internet, but thankfully this Norwegian YouTube channel has saved it for all our viewing pleasure here.

A lot of people say we look alike, which makes me laugh. A few people have also joked that he looked like the late Amy Winehouse, another artist whom I really admire. Do I look like Amy too? Gosh I hope so. Let me grab my eyeliner real quick and I’ll find out!

All jokes aside, what I really wish people would say about me is that I sound half as smart and eloquent as this very intelligent and engaging man. If you can get beyond the Jesus looking exterior, then what you’d see is that there’s a lot more beneath the surface.

You can see that this is a man who has lived through some things and come out the other end very enlightened. For a long time Russell Brand suffered through addiction, mental health struggles, and all sorts of self-destructive behavior. But he pulled through and now possess insight I find very admirable.

I think Mr. Brand has some really interesting things to say about the current state of the world. He sees all the moving parts. When he sees a lack of justice, he uses his platform to advocate change. I can only pray to have half as much impact one day.

This latest video he made about mental health during the pandemic is very good. We should all watch and think about it here:

Learning To Be Vulnerable

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I’ve never found it particularly interesting to be vulnerable. Nor have I ever, not once in my life, striven to be relatable. It just isn’t something I find particularly interesting. I’m forever trying to come across as competent and in control. I’m unsure where this part of my personality comes from. Perhaps it is my Capricorn rising? Maybe there’s some childhood trauma I haven’t quite unpacked yet. It could also just be a defective part of my personality requiring work.

I’m learning that the biggest reason why I won’t allow myself to be vulnerable is that I’m probably way too paranoid. I don’t believe that people have inherently good intentions wanting to hear about my own personal struggles. People find ways to weaponize trauma. When I’ve opened up to people, about the difficult times I’ve endured in my life, it has often been used against me. These conversations are rarely had with good intent, rather, a mechanism to manipulate and maneuver at a later date. I just don’t want to give people ammunition.

As stated earlier, ruminating in trauma isn’t something I find interesting. I prefer to learn very quickly and move on, refusing to make the same mistakes twice. However, I’m learning that helping people deal with their struggles, because I’ve lived through some of the same struggles, is somewhat significant. I read on my cousin Loma’s Instagram page the following quote:

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So I sat there and thought about success. I’d say I’ve had a pretty successful decade in my 20’s in many different ways. One year removed from the decade I suppose I can critically analyze everything. Sure, I could have more money in my bank account, and of course I made many mistakes along the way, but I do also understand that success is a subjective term that we all interpret differently.

There are the basic societal markers of success: big house, big car, big family, big wallet, high paying job, etc. So if I were to use societal markers of success, I wouldn’t be very successful at all; however, we all possess the inherent ability to define success on our own terms.

Because we are entitled to our own interpretations of what “success” is, I knew that striving to obtain societal success wasn’t going to be the main goals of my 20’s. What I did do instead was work on myself very hard, introspectively, to do all the things that I knew would be imperative to setting myself up for lifelong fulfillment. In many ways I’m in a state of great privilege because I’ve always had the luxury of time to define success on my own terms.

Success to me in my 20’s were the following accomplishments:

  1. Graduating from a Tier I University and getting a robust education, debt-free.

  2. Using my tertiary education to build a hotel with my family so that my parents could live less stressful lives. Success was also helping my father phase out of his law career, so he can be around long enough to meet his grandchildren.

  3. Unpacking deep childhood trauma and dealing with some pretty ugly demons. Success of this was made through confronting my parents, my father in particular, on the difficult times I had growing up that made me feel invalidated. This was particularly difficult if you knew the Tongan cultural background we were raised where children are “seen but not heard.”

  4. Receiving a sincere apology from my parents, again, mostly my father, which in turn allowed me to heal effectively.

  5. Recognizing that I have internalized trauma that affects my subconscious on a deeper level and breaking out of this cycle of mistreatment. I hope this will give me a much higher chance of success in both my interpersonal and intimate loving relationships.

  6. Using my brain, skills, and lifelong passion for my sport to survive in New York City. I’ve never, not once, used my physical appearance or “charm” to make it by. Learning to stand on my own two feet without compromising any of my values is important to me. The result? A robust self-esteem and general sense of security that’s centered around knowing everything I’ve ever obtained has been through merit, and merit alone.

  7. Overcoming an unhealthy body image and bad attitude towards food. I’ve finally learned how to find balance and like what I see when I look in the mirror.

  8. Researching scholarly sources to learn about my own bodily health, and how it is intrinsically linked to my own personal mental health.

  9. Overcoming self-destructive thought patterns and behavioral habits that have kept me trapped in the lower-frequency. Success was being able to tap into my higher-level of consciousness through overcoming all the difficulties and struggles in my life.

  10. And finally, bringing my childhood coach to the Olympics and sharing that once-in-a-lifetime experience with her. That felt really good.

These are all my versions of success. Noticed how none of them are physical? Not one single thing you can touch! Except maybe the hotel we built as a family. Success to me is all about self-actualization, and taking the time to learn and grow from one’s mistakes.

I’ve had a ton of failure along the way, and of course my goal is to share this with you all in an attempt to make myself more vulnerable and relatable. It is an ongoing journey, learning to take down the veneer, but it is something I’m starting to feel safe doing strictly on my own terms. I’m not going to give out my difficulties and struggles to people haphazardly, I will be selective and deliberate, as any Capricorn rising creature would!

Everything in life is much easier when we approach the world with a “growth orientated” mindset; nobody knows everything and we shouldn’t feel embarrassed by saying the words: “I don’t know.”

My Dad told me growing up that the best Professor he ever met while studying Law at The University of London at Oxford, was a man who stood up in front of the class and said in his very first lecture that some of the smartest people in the world are the first to say “I don’t know.” Because eventually one day you will know, and this is how ignorance is not only fought, but won!

I’ve always chosen to keep the lessons of my past and not dwell on failure itself. I’ve also learned to embrace all my failures as though they’re stepping stones, kicking me toward something bigger and greater. I see myself as a big ol’ gay phoenix, constantly being reborn, rising out of the ashes, and into something stronger, more resilient, and hopefully soon to be of some significance.

I’ve done a lot of growth and now, in lieu of success, I hope to become more significant by adding value to other people’s lives, instead of just my own. At the end of the day, I’m just like Dolly, singing in the song below: “I’m just travellin’ travellin’ travellin’, I’m just travellin’ thru! Woooooooooo!”

And I hope y’all continue travellin’ with me on this road of self-discovery:

How To Be A Real Friend

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My upcoming 31st birthday is making reflect on a lot of things in life. One of those things is friendship. After 3 solid decades on this planet, I think I know what it means to be a real friend. After careful deliberation, I’ve decided that these are the 3 rules I live by in order to be considered a real friend.

1) Don’t ‘Go To Bed’ With Your Friends

Personally I believe that in order for friendship to really flourish, the element of sex has to be removed. This makes life much simpler, with clear distinct boundaries.

I’ve taken a leaf out the Greek Philosopher Epicurus’ book and decided that life is much simpler if all the people I call a friend in my life really is just that: a friend. I’ve said that to each of my 4 boyfriends and each of them appreciated my candor because it was reassuring for them. When boundaries are crossed in friendship they’re no longer a friend anymore, they’re a lover, and once feelings get involved, the situation gets messy.

If you’re serious about having a committed loving relationship in the future, don’t make things weird with your friends! It’s that simple. That way, when you have a potential partner come into your life, you can say with full certainty when introducing them to you circle, that every person in your circle really is just a friend.

2) A Real Friend Apologizes For Hurt Feelings

If boundaries are crossed, then address it immediately, apologize regardless of whether you were in the right or wrong, acknowledge the misstep and move on. Everybody has had a drunken night where they’ve made bad decisions, the important part is the recovery. The sooner you address it, nip it in the bud, the higher the likelihood the friendship can be mended. I understand it’s uncomfortable, however, anything ambiguous is only going to lead into more hurt feelings and nobody ever wants to play games with people’s hearts, it is bad karma.

Evil eyes can manifest in many different ways. I believe it’s possible for people to lose their jobs, prosperous careers, even loving committed relationships, all because of an evil eye has been cast on by so-called jealous friends. A real friend would never deliberately go out of their way to do something out of spite. A loving friendship isn’t about hurting, and if the love feels painful then it probably isn’t love.

We need to all collectively stop using a person’s “acting out” and rage as an indicator of strong feelings with love: love isn’t supposed to be painful. Everybody needs to stop conflating love and pain: the depth of a person’s pain is no indicator of their love for you.

How your friends are with apologies is also a good indicator of whether the friendship is real or not. When you confront a friend about a hurtful thing they’ve done, a real friend acknowledges the hurt and pain they’ve caused, and apologizes for causing it.

Do you acknowledge the hurt and pain in your friendships? And if so, are you able to navigate an apology that gives your friend the assurance, understanding, and compassion that they need to have peace? That’s a real friendship. Talking around difficult issues or leaving them unaddressed for a long period of time can turn any relationship toxic.

So often people make their apologies about egos and power-struggles, and if this dynamic seems familiar, it might be time to move on from that friendship. Revisiting pain from the past is like picking at a scab for fun, it is a toxic cycle that doesn’t allow you to heal and move forward. Real friends honor sincere apologies and move on.

Accepting an apology is one thing, but honoring it is quite another. When accepting or receiving an apology, honoring it means leaving the conversation there and moving forward. Don’t revisit it. If they keep revisiting painful moments of the past that you’ve sincerely apologized for, realize that behavior is a toxic cycle and you don’t need that in your life.

Pride and resentment can kill a person, and they very oftentimes do. Emotional toxicity is the fastest way to develop cancer, I have no doubt that shit will kill you. So cut out the emotional toxicity from your life for the good of your own mental, spiritual, emotional, and even physical health. Get it out of your life.

3) A Real Friend Wants You to Win

When a person posts something online to get underneath your skin, or does something deliberately to cause a fight and provoke you, that’s toxic. If you get a thrill out of such interactions, you might have an addiction to toxicity.

If you get a rush from drama then you might be a toxic person, which isn’t the best thing, but admitting that you might be partial to toxic tendencies is the first step in breaking out of the toxic cycles and friendships once and for all.

I avoid all social and emotional toxicity in my life. I’ve lost countless friends over the years because the situations have turned toxic and I needed to walk away. Self-care is so important. It’s really hard, especially when you share so much history, but all because a person has been in your life a very long time doesn’t make them a real friend; you must look at their behavior.

One thing I’ve learned in life is that good energy begets good energy, bad energy begets bad energy. So, I only try to give loving energy to those who make me feel good, and these friendships reciprocate that loving energy right back to me naturally. It should make you feel good to build your friends up! Everybody should be wanting to see one another win.

Lastly, friendships are the few moments of human interaction where we get to be vulnerable and tender. Can you be tender and vulnerable with your friends? Does your friend soothe that vulnerability, minimize your weakness, build up your self-confidence and instill strength in your character? That’s a real friend.

How To Tell If You Have A Bad Pineal Gland

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The Pineal gland, aka The Third Eye, aka the Eye of Horus (if you nasty) is a tiny gland that sits in the middle of our brain and is intimately linked to our body’s perception of light. It’s like an odometer for light inside your brain. The body receives messages from the optic nerve in the eye, which then tells the Pineal gland to release hormones all throughout the body.

As you can see, the role of this gland is no joke. It not only helps the body discern between day and night, it also let’s us know what season we’re in, as well as whether the hours of sunlight are getting longer or shorter. It is also responsible for secreting certain hormones all throughout the day.

Did you know that the closer we get to the equator, the smaller the Pineal gland becomes in animals? This is because with more sun exposure and warmth near the equator, there are far less seasonal shifts. With less seasonal shifts, the Pineal gland doesn’t have to work as hard regulating light exposure. So the size of your Pineal gland might be relative to the extremity of the seasonal shifts you encounter.

How can you tell if you have a solid Pineal gland?

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If you’re a “Morning Person,” and your body automatically wakes up whenever the sun rises, this is good news as it means you probably have a strong Pineal gland. Morning people tend to have stronger Pineal glands than those who sleep-in as the body is attuned to the natural light cycle of the surrounding world around us. One of the chemicals that the Pineal gland is responsible for releasing is melatonin, which is the sleep hormone that helps us fall asleep.

An added benefit of being an early riser is that cortisol levels tend to peak in the morning, which I find akin to nature’s way of encouraging us to be daytime creatures. We’re supposed to bounce around in sunlight. A solid circadian rhythm is a sign of a well functioning Pineal gland, while insomnia and poor sleep cycles tend to be signs of a poor functioning Pineal gland.

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Is it normal for you to wake up feeling like you need more rest? Regardless of how many hours you’ve slept the night before? Is it all too easy for you to sleep-in till noon? Or maybe you don’t feel properly rested until you’ve slept-in till noon? If the sun comes up in the sky and you have no problem staying a Sleeping Beauty in the bed sheets then I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you might have a poor, or even worse, a calcified Pineal gland.

Healthy people get up when the sun is up, it’s that simple. The Pineal gland is responsible for releasing certain hormones at certain times and when it doesn’t secrete the correct chemicals at the proper times, we begin to encounter hormonal imbalances. An example of this hormonal imbalance is missing out on all that delicious cortisol we obtain from peaking in the morning. Cortisol is necessary for us to battle adrenal fatigue and it honestly makes us feel alive. Miss too many cortisol peaks in the morning in a row and you might begin to feel a hormonal shift. Always remember that your body is delicate, you have to pay attention to it.

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Spiritual Awakening

Most importantly for us to remember is that the Pineal gland is responsible for our spiritual awakening. DMT, the natural occurring chemical structure that’s found naturally in humans and animals, is said to be responsible for hallucinating and understanding consciousness, is created in trace amounts where? You guessed it: the Pineal gland. So when you’re taking any type of hallucinogenic, chances are you’re tickling your Pineal gland.

When unlocked, it is said that the Pineal gland can bring about a deeper intuition. It is believed that our ability to discern propaganda and false media messaging is something we heavily rely on our Pineal gland to filter, why? Because it’s responsible for our intuition. It is our most primal instinctual connection to the outside world. It is your animal instinct. It is the sharpest of swords in the weaponry that is your brain. It is the most magical part of the brain.

So, if the Pineal gland is our direct link, our key in many ways, to the outside natural world through light regulation, what do you think would happen to society if you severed the connection to the Pineal gland? Through something like say, fluoridated water? What do you think we’ll begin to see in the world?

We’ll probably have a race of beings that are disconnected from nature. This disconnection from nature bleeds into a spiritual disconnection from their inner selves. People will begin listening to the background noise, and silencing the inside voice. People will become much easier to persuade if they’ve got a blocked intuition. If you’re spiritually disconnected from yourself, how can you possibly spiritually connect to any of the living beings around you, animal or human? This just sounds all too familiar with the world we’re living in today.

How to Decalcify your Pineal Gland?

  1. Avoid Fluoride AND Chlorine in ALL Consumed Water

Stop drinking fluoride. Fluoride is almost always found in municipal water, as well as pesticides, and it accumulates in the Pineal gland more than in any other part of the body. This fluoride creates phosphate crystals that accumulate and create a hard shell around the Pineal gland called calcification:

50% percent of the municipal drinking water around the globe is fluoridated. Interestingly enough however, most developed nations, do not fluoridate their water. Some countries that do not fluoridate their water are: Austria, Belgium, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Luxembourg, Northern Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Scotland, Iceland, and Italy.

Only 3% of the western European population consume fluoridated water. However, if you live in the USA and your source of water comes from a public water supply, there’s a 74% chance your water has fluoride in it. More people drink, bathe, swim and shower in fluoridated water in the United States than anywhere in the rest of the world combined. Scary!

Yes, fluoride is needed to strengthen tooth enamel, but the fluoride in the toothpaste we use twice a day will more than suffice the ability for us to protect our teeth. Think about it, if the fluoride is doing that to something like your bones, solidifying it and making it harder, can you imagine what it most be doing to the rest of your body? How about our stomach and its ability to digest? Or our lungs and their ability to breathe, which are made up of upwards of 83% water? How about our brains in particular? Did you know there’s actually no blood-brain barrier protecting our Pineal gland like there are other parts of our brain? Wild.

Chlorine is in the same class of chemicals as fluoride (halide anions) so it also has calcifying effects on the Pineal gland too. Unfortunately chlorine is found in virtually all of our public water supply too, so it’s always best to source all water from a fluoride free water filter.

Leave no stone unturned when it comes to avoiding fluoride at all costs. When you clean your teeth, don’t even allow the tap water to touch your lips to rinse, not even for a second. Get a cup of purified water or filtered water and use this to rinse instead.

If you’re boiling pasta, potatoes, vegetables, or anything that requires a water absorption method, use purified or filtered water with fluoride removed. Yes it’s a hassle but you must stay vigilant. This is a marathon and not a sprint. You’re changing lifestyle habits for the rest of your life. This isn’t something you can turn back to once you’ve started because you WILL notice the difference.

Be conscious of Spring water as it still has naturally occurring fluoride. Sometimes Spring water gives me fluorosis flare ups in my shoulder and I know it’ll have fluoride, that’s how sensitive I have become to fluoridated water. The more vigilant and stricter you are, the sooner you’ll begin to notice the positive effects on your Pineal gland.

2. Drink Beverages With Less Fluoride

We all know how I feel about coffee and I’ll write about that another time. We should all be consciously aware that there is fluoride in our beverages too. Instant teas and teas grown in Asian tend to be harvested in soil that has higher levels of fluoride, thus always beware when drinking tea beverages and try to buy from African or European countries that have less fluoride in them.

I’m a huge fan of Green Tea, which unfortunately has the highest level of fluoride of all the teas. It’s best to switch to white tea or yerba mate, which both have significantly less fluoride in them. I liked white tea or yerba mate tea during the initial Pineal flush that I started but I switched back to green tea after finding one that didn’t give me joint pain from suspected fluorosis. Through much trial and error with many different teas, I now only drink Emperor’s Cloud Mist from Starbucks, as this one causes almost no bodily grief.

3. Iodine In Seaweed Flushes Out Fluoride

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Ridding the Pineal gland of fluoride, according to Dr. Mark Sircus, is done with iodine. When the body consumes high levels of iodine, it displaces fluoride from cell receptors and flushes the fluoride out of the body via urine. 

Our bodies can’t make iodine so we must get it from our food meals or supplements.  As expected, it’s estimated that as many as 74% of Americans are deficient in the crucial chemical element of iodine in the body.   

The most superior dietary source of iodine is seaweed.  Specifically, sea veggies like wakame, nori, kombu (kelp), arame, and dulse, which are the richest edible sources of iodine. 

Keep in mind that 1 tablespoon of dried dulse flakes contains about 750 mcg of iodine.  The daily recommended amount is about 150 mcg, so if you decide to up your iodine intake, do so slowly and build your way up so you don’t overwhelm your body.

Detoxing from fluoride using iodine may trigger symptoms like headaches, agitation, and palpitations as fluoride is released.  To minimize those effects, it’s important to work with a natural health specialist and listen to your body. Sleep when you need to. Hydrate when necessary. Sometimes the saltiness can be dehydrating so be sure to keep up the purified water to flush out the fluoride.

4. Exercise = Brain Blood Flow = Pineal Flush

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Have you ever gone a long time without exercise, and then done an intense cardio workout, only to find yourself having a throbbing migraine headache afterwards? That headache, my dear, is blood circulating to your Pineal gland. Have you ever noticed how this type of headache becomes light sensitive? That’s because your body is pushing out endotoxins that have been sitting on you Pineal gland, collecting all sorts of unmentionables since the last time you exercised.

This is why daily exercise is crucial for spiritual health, it pushes blood to that part of the brain that’s deepest and most difficult to gain access to. Have you ever noticed how calm you become after a cardio exercise? Be it a yoga class? Or a swim? Or a jog? That’s your body emitting alpha brainwaves, and those brainwaves are coming from where? You guessed it, the Pineal gland.

This is why breath control in yoga and swimming is so crucial, it pushes oxygen and blood to the Pineal gland. This is why I exercise everyday. I love that feeling of a flushed Pineal gland. I love the feeling of my eyes getting sensitive to light at night, knowing I’ve properly exhausted myself that day. When I’m sensitive to light at night, I know I’m more connected to my deeper animal instincts.

5. Shower Using Seaweed Based Soap

As a lifelong swimmer, the post-practice shower is a crucial part of my after post-workout ritual. If seaweed is good for removing chlorine and fluoride from inside of our bodies, it must be good for removing those harsh chemicals from on top of our bodies, right? Well yes, it turns out to be true.

I’ve started using The Seaweed Bath Company’s Hydrating Cleansing Body Wash - Eucalyptus and Peppermint but honestly just go to Whole Foods or natural drug store and ask for a seaweed based body wash or soap. I’ve noticed a huge difference in my body’s ability to keep fluoride at bay when I consistently use seaweed based body wash or soap every time.

I’ve also noticed my skin is much softer, which means I’m winning my battle with hard water. I love the way my body feels slimy afterward, knowing that the iodine has displaced the fluoride and chlorine on my skin.

I then finish by drying off and lathering my whole body with this amazing coconut collagen oil called Tropikaux. If you don’t have Tropikaux, coconut oil will suffice. Tropikaux is my biggest beauty secret. If you’re lucky to have read this far and uncovered this gem of information. Unfortunately, this product isn’t available online yet but I’m working very hard with the owner to try and get it up. As witchy as it sounds, you can only buy it on the streets of SOHO in New York City.

If you’re in NYC and you want this beauty secret, Tropikaux is sold every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday on W Houston, between Thompson Street and Sullivan Street. It’s sold out of a Zaddy Earth booth in front of The Church of St. Anthony of Padua.

If you’re really want inga bottle, comment below, DM me on Instagram or Twitter and I’ll talk to the owner.

6. Be Patient

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Removing fluoride from the Pineal gland is an ongoing process that is going to take much longer than just a few days. Be diligent with consistency and listen to your body.

Be aware of fluoride and chlorine in your environment, and realize it might be in places you didn’t even realize existed… cleaning supplies tend to be the biggest culprit. Be vigilant about removing those toxic chemicals from your environment.

If you’re a swimmer like me and avoiding chlorine and fluoride is impossible, compensate with raising iodine in your diet with seaweed consumption, and use seaweed based body washes and soaps in the shower to minimize marinating in ugly toxic chemicals.

Conclusion

When my Pineal gland is prosperous and functioning, my whole body feels incredible and I feel alive. ALL my cylinders are firing and all the right hormones are being released at the right times. My libido is healthy and my sex hormones, monitored by my Pineal gland, are balanced. The fresh testosterone my body releases in healthy amounts is done so at the correct times due to my strong functioning Pineal gland inside my brain.

These are just some of the many things I do to maintain a healthy hormonal balance via Pineal gland de-calcification.

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Top 3 Probiotic Products That I Love

Here are 3 probiotic products that work amazingly well for me. In order to get full benefits from your probiotic, you’ll need to follow a few rules listed in a previous blog post.

Top 3 Favorite Probiotic Products:

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#1 Economical: Yakult

I got into Yakult when I lived in Japan for the month of September in 2019. I was staying in a small countryside town called Miyama, which fell under the Fukuoka prefecture.

I was definitely balling on a budget at this time of my life, so I needed a great probiotic product that would be effective but not too costly on my wallet. I went to the local store and found several Japanese folk walking around with Yakult probiotic in their grocery carts. I figured I’d give the product a try.

I didn’t get a single stomach ache while staying in Japan, and while that might have to do with staunch Japanese laws surrounding GMOs, I think a lot of it had to do with taking Yakult everyday. A bottle or two was giving me 10/20 billion probiotics and this is what’s most economically easiest for people. I used 2 because sometimes I feel like my body needs more. Yakult is the absolute best way to start your day! I down a couple of bottles first thing in the morning everyday.

#1 Effectiveness: Plexus ProBio5

Plexus Probio5 is the most expensive probiotic product I’ve ever taken, but incidentally has been the most effective probioitic product I’ve ever taken. As part of a Triplex Plexus Combo, which I’ll rave about in another blog post, where do I even begin with this miracle all-natural formula?

Probio5 is vacuum frozen and shelf-stable, meaning that refrigeration won’t be necessary and makes it easier for travel. It has been proven that freezing bacterial cultures doesn’t kill the bacteria but that the bacteria cultures remain dormant. This means that while they’re frozen they won’t be active, but once the Probio5 is ingested and reaches warmer temperatures inside your stomach, the probiotic activates and gets to work! How amazing is that?

Probio5 boasts only 2 billion strains of probiotics, however the real money is in the concoction of digestive enzymes inside the supplement. The chitinase enzyme in this concentrated form helps fight and remove bacterial and fungal overgrowth, thus restoring gut flora balance within the gastrointestinal microbiota.

The herxheimer reaction, which is basically a fancy word of saying detox symptoms, is very strong with the Probio5, so beware. When Probio5 is taken on its own it can cause great fatigue, which is why I recommend taking ProBio5 with Plexus’ BioCleanse and Slim Tea as part of the Triplex combo.

It is said that 90 days of consistent use of the Triplex combo can restore gut flora balance. This is the product that fixed me after the Rio 2016 Olympics when I was experiencing extreme gut health issues and I truly believe that Plexus is a god send, which truly changed my life.

Full disclosure: I’m a salesperson for Plexus and if you’d like to place an order, use my member ID 900152367 — I get a small commission that goes toward funding my Olympic campaign and you’ll get a healthier gut! Contact me here for more details.

#1 Mental Health: Garden of Life: Mood Plus

Garden of Life has concocted the perfect probioitic product with Mood Plus to help regulate mood and promote emotional well-being & relaxation. While there aren’t any digestive enzymes in this probiotic product, the product contains 350mg of organic ashwagandha, which helps settle the stomach in those suffering with nervousness or anxiety. The organic Alaskan blueberries in the pill are also a great anti-inflammatory addition for oxidative stress.

I did notice myself dealing with stress a lot more level-headed and with much more clarity. There’s something about The Garden of Life: Mood that allows for a much less stressful existence. I’d highly recommend this product if you’re not looking to make a big investment yet in the improving of your gut health, but want to see if there’s any truth to this gut-brain axis that research is showing.

Garden of Life: Mood Plus worked amazingly well for my mental health and made me feel much more adept to handling the stress of day-to-day life.

Conclusion

Take your pick of any one of these products, or maybe try multiple of them! But please know that if you’re in the NZ area, Yakult can be found at any Asian foods store like Tai-Ping in Balmoral, Plexus delivers to your door, and the Garden of Life Mood Probiotics can be found at The Health Post store in New Lynn.

I Love Japanese Buddhist Temples Pt. 1

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Hi, hello, how are you?
I’ve been slack in writing blog posts about this Japanese adventure. We have been so busy with training and cultural activities that it barely leaves any downtime to write. Starting yesterday I made the commitment to write every single day in the small opportunities that this training trip affords me.

Forgive me in advance, I don’t really have time to edit any of these blog posts as I literally have 23 minutes until I need to jump into the van and go to morning swim practice! We are in the last third of our trip and I’m trying my best to balance everything adequately while also doing this trip justice with words.

During our time here we’ve visited 2 different temples and both have been beautiful for different reasons. The first temple we visited, which was a scheduled visit, is called the Kiyomizu Temple in the city of Miyama. Kiyomizu is the name of the triple tower temple as seen here:

The Kiyomizu Temple (Miyama City, Fukuoka)

The Kiyomizu Temple (Miyama City, Fukuoka)

The Kiyomizu temple is beautiful and the best time to visit is spring, when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, or in the autumn, when the leaves start to turn a different color and fall. We didn’t get to enter the temple this time, but we could admire the beauty from the outside.

The Kiyomizue Dera (Miyama, Fukuoka)

The Kiyomizue Dera (Miyama, Fukuoka)

The main gate of the Kiyomizu Dera was built in 1745 by Sadanori Tachibana and this beautiful archway, along with the Kiyomizu temple, are both designated Fukuoka Prefectural Cultural Properties.

​Beyond these gates, there’s a statue of the thousand-armed Guanyin (Goddess of Mercy), whom is worshiped as a deity of fertility and matchmaking. Countless couples hoping to become parents make the hike to this place and pray. Couples who have recently given birth to a baby come to pray here. In fact, our designated interpreter, Kauro, told us her mother took her to this very temple as a baby after she was born.

There's a smaller shrine on the property specifically dedicated to praying, this is further into the grounds. And above this smaller shrine is another temple with a shrine inside, which was definitely my favorite part of this visit. Inside this temple and next to the shrine were doors that opened up to a beautiful back porch, open to the woods with a calm and serene pond.

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Next to a shrine with special Buddhist beads

Next to a shrine with special Buddhist beads

As a group we sat and looked at the tranquil nature, listening to the crickets buzzing. It was incredibly peaceful and a place many Buddhist monks come for learning and introspection, taking inspiration for calmness from the surface of the water. I made sure to wear some very special Buddhist beads around my wrist while I soaked up the peacefulness and tranquility.

I stood and walked out onto a small platform close to the woods and listened to a cricket chirping especially close on a tree next to me. I love listening to crickets. I love trying to find out where they are in trees, knowing that they’re camouflaged and trying to go unnoticed apart from their loud buzzing. I have a strange relationship with bugs, I seem to attract them and sometimes I feel like I can steer them in directions. Well, not really, but at least I like to think so.

I thought about the time I was at a boy’s apartment in Brooklyn. There were flies flying around his kitchen. I remember opening up the window and talking to the flies, coaxing them with my hands, and telling them to move outside. I talked to them as if they were children: “C’mon now! You don’t want to be stuck in this house, you want to be outside. Shoo! Go on. Fly outside. I know you want to.” We watched in fascination as the 3 of the flies flew outside and into the fresh summer air.

The boy whose apartment it was, had a simpler way of getting the flies to disappear. He swatted them with his big beautiful hands, and used paper towels to scoop up the remnants.

I feigned horror and used an Edina Monsoon quote from Ab Fab, crying out jokingly: “Don’t kill them! In the Buddhist religion, I could come back as one of those you know!” Making a sissy dramatic fuss.

“Death is a part of life.” he said matter-of-factually while he threw the fly corpse into the garbage bin.

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As I was thinking about this cute little moment, the cricket quit buzzing and jumped off the tree, revealing itself to me while making a direct bee-line for my face. 3 or 4 feet away from me, the cricket veered left and flew back into the trees to be among nature.

Apparently bugs are attracted to light. Is this what draws them to me?

I giggle, knowing the notion is ridiculous, but in my fantastical, whimsical, creative, and imaginative mind, this is why I have a special relationship with bugs: they’re drawn to light.

I love visiting Japanese Buddhist temples. I always leave feeling so peaceful and relaxed.

Stay tuned for my next blog post, which will be appropriately named: “I Love Japanese Buddhist Temples pt. 2” - in this one I’ll discuss The Daihonzan Naritasan Kurume Temple, which houses the largest statue in Japan!

Konichiwa Fishes!

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Howdy y’all!

Coming to you from my fabulous hotel bedroom in the Japanese countryside of Yanagawa, which is in the Fukuoka prefecture. As stated in my last blawg post, I’m spending the entire month of September in Japan for a training camp leading up to Tokyo 2020.

This camp is a partnership between the Oceanic National Olympic Committee (ONOC) and the Fukuoka prefecture. Because the pacific region is still heavily underfunded and ill-equipped to train for the Olympic games, the lovely people of Fukuoka have blessed us with resources to help us train for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics and it has all been super kawaii!

While this camp will be fabulous for the 30 day period of September, we still need to find ways to resource our sports training once we all go back to our respective countries. Regardless though, I feel incredibly blessed and grateful for the opportunity to get some really productive work done while preparing for Tokyo 2020, while also seeing Japan and learning about the culture.

All the practices so far have been long course meters (LCM), which is a huge benefit to us as we don’t typically get to practice in Olympic sized pools for swimming. My teammate who is on this trip with me, Noelani Day, trains in the ocean in Tonga! So for Lani, this training camp is incredibly crucial and important.O

We aren’t in Fukuoka the city itself, instead we are in between 2 small cities within Fukuoka prefecture. If you couldn’t tell, prefecture is my new favorite word! I’ve used it 4 times in this blawg post already teeheehee… Our hotel is in the city of Yanagawa, which is famous for its 292 miles worth of wide canals! The city is home to a little over 70,000 residents and reminds me SO much of the town I went to university in.

The pool we train in is in a cute little agricultural city called Miyama. I’m living my Harvest Moon fantasy every time we drive to and from the pool. We’re surrounded by the most immaculate rice paddy and soybean fields. I really should take pictures but I’m just too present in the moment. The farmers here literally use up every square inch of the land available to them to grow crops and it is actually rather extraordinary.

For the first week here I’ve had LMFAO’s “I’m in Miami Trick” playing over and over in my head, except I’ve replaced Miami with Miyama LOL… “I’m in Miyama trick!”

ANYWAY, Miyama is famous for its agriculture and this is what reminds me mostly of Texas A&M, seeing as the A in A&M stands for agriculture. Speaking of culture, I’m in absolute awe of the amount of respect everybody has for each other here, especially for elders. I think that’s really beautiful that there’s an immediate hierachy that’s based on age. If you see a person is older than you, you open the door for them and allow them to walk through first. I think that’s really nice. In Japanese culture, respect is paramount and I’m always operating at my absolute best to ensure I’m not offending anybody and trying to be respectful at all times. This is why I shaved my beard for meeting the city’s mayors.

From left to right: Mayor of Yanagawa city, Kenji Kaneko, Me, Noelani Day, Don Cobb (Noelani’s Granfather and chaperone)

From left to right: Mayor of Yanagawa city, Kenji Kaneko, Me, Noelani Day, Don Cobb (Noelani’s Granfather and chaperone)

Yesterday we went to meet the mayors of both respective cities, whom gave us really memorable gifts. One was a box full of agricultural treats (from Miyama) and the other was a Japanese good luck charm (from Yanagawa).

I want to express my sincere gratitude to both city mayors: Mayor of Yanagawa city, Kenji Kaneko, and Mayor of Miyama city, Morito Matushima. Both have been so welcoming and the hospitality Team Tonga has received on this trip has been absolutely astounding. A very special mention to Michael Kohn and the Secretary General of ONOC for helping us get to this training camp. This is an experience I will cherish for a lifetime.

With Miyama City Mayor Morito Matsuhima (in the middle holding the flags and Tongan fan)

With Miyama City Mayor Morito Matsuhima (in the middle holding the flags and Tongan fan)

As for training, we did 10 sessions last week and we absolutely crushed it. While I’ll openly admit that I’m not in 100% perfect form right now, I certainly feel myself getting back there. I love the process of getting back into shape and preparing for the incredible road ahead.